CONSTRUCTION TERMS

bulletbuilder - a gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.
bulletbid - a wild guess carried out to two decimal places.
bulletbid opening - a poker game in which the losing hand wins.
bulletlow bidder - a builder who is wondering what he left out.
bulletengineer's estimate - cost of construction in heaven.
bulletOSHA - a protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print, red tape, split hairs and baloney.... applied at random with a shotgun.
bulletdelayed payment - a tourniquet applied at the pockets.
bulletcompletion date - when liquidated damages begin.
bulletliquidated damages - penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
bulletauditor - person who goes in after the war & bayonets the wounded.
bulletlawyer - person who goes in after the auditors to strip the bodies.
bulletsawdust - only waste acceptable to builders.

OTHER

bulletnew hot button for specs.... walk-in humidors
bulletunlisted spec homes cause global warming.
bulletthat spec growing whiskers ?   call "home-vesters".
bullethome buyers treat their builder like a saint ..... saint bernard.
bulletbuilder got his son into homebuilding... police charged him with child abuse.
bulletbuilder been building so long... he built the home he was born in.
bulletonly way to keep concrete from cracking is leave it in the sack. 
bulletzoloft, the spec builder's friend.
 
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modified: November 25, 2008